Anonymity

J Hench is my real name. Actually, my real name is Jayson, but since my parents chose to spell it oddly, (or, as they probably thought, uniquely) I ended up being called "Jay" by teachers, friends, friends' parents, frequently enough that that abbreviation of my given name stuck. I, in typically clever pseudo-phonetic internet-ese have abbreviated the name further, to simply "J". Period outside the quotes, because, as you'll note, there is no period after the J, as though J did not actually stand for anything, but was simply my given name (though it does in fact stand for something, as noted above). Also, leaving the J without the first name will in theory (though perhaps not in fact) make it more difficult for anyone who stumbles across this page to Google me and discover those unfortunate pictures of me taken at the office party, or my credit card number, or the fact that I am Client No. 8 (one better than the former governor). Or whatever other goodies we are supposed to be afraid will undermine us if we reveal our identity online.

Or perhaps J Hench is an alias, a clever disguise, meant to hide my true identity. In fact, it may refer to the fact that I am some sort of Hench-man for some nefarious plot that is certain to destroy Western Civilization as we know it, starting with the Internet and eventually taking over television, radio, satellites, and the bureaucracy. This is merely a front, a mask that I wear.

Due to the very anonymity of the Internet, a sort of self-regulation has developed. Anyone posting online could be . . . well, anyone. I could create a new username and post critical comments, hoping to start a controversial flamewar that would draw attention to this website. My daughter could be typing this right now as I dictate to her (or my husband as I dictate to him, or Superman, as I keep him in his chair in front of my computer by surrounding it with Krypton). Since anyone could be anyone, it is important for everyone to establish some credibility, and the easiest way to do that is to be open and honest about who one is, what one does, where one lives, who is in ones family, the openess and honesty lending a credibility to each internet alias' existence, lending it a grounding in a reality other than the virtual kind.

On the otherhand, that very openess and honesty leads to the risk of being victimized, taken advantage of by ne'er-do-wells. Or it could result in offending those whom one is close to and chose to integrate into ones narrative. Or it could result in being exposed as a hypocrite, atheist, liberal, philandering, commie-pinko-bedwetter, and unpatriotic to boot. Or as a partier who likes to dress up as a fairy when he has called in sick to work.

So, what to do, what to do? If I chose to write as myself, under my real name, about the real people in my life, there is a lot of risk of potential damage to my real life. On the other hand, choosing to remain anonymous on the Internet, while being better for my non-virtual existence, potentially undermines anything I say on this website or any other. The solution I have developed for the present is to devise a transparent alter ego that will be my moniker for all my posts here until I come up with a better one. I may post about real people and about my real life, but I may disguise it so as to be unrecognizable. On the other hand, I may use the real names and places, and hope that you will be unable to tell which is which (and hope that the real people whom I might be making offensive comments about do not end up reading this). In short, I cannot guarantee that what you read here will be a fair and accurate, non-fictitious portrayal of reality (or even my reality), nor can I claim that everything will be a fiction, a story, or falsehood. I myself am not yet sure which route I will take in my writings.

The obvious questions that have arisen in my mind, but are as yet unspoken and therefore unanswered is, what is the purpose of these writings? Who are they for? What do I hope to gain from them? These are important questions, that need to be pursued, but alas, my thirty minutes are up, and my spouse is getting tired of reading David Foster Wallace while waiting for me to finish typing. Adieu until tomorrow.